I would say I can’t believe that this is the first post I’ve written this year; but we all know that I am the Queen of inconsistency on here nowadays. Which is actually a positive in comparison to a few years ago, when my overactive Ben-brain needed to overshare at an alarming rate.

I always recognise at the end of a year how much I’ve learnt, grown, changed and all that jazz; however, this year has already seen the biggest change in my self-awareness and understanding of myself and we’re only halfway through. As always, that happened through hardships and this is why going through difficult times can often be the making of us.

As mentioned in previous blogs, I went back to therapy last summer after my relationship ended. I am still currently seeing Emily but I have reduced my sessions to every three to four weeks; I can still confirm that she is incredible and I am so thankful to have found yet another amazing therapist to work with. Julie-Ellen was one of the significant people who helped me through my anxiety disorder a few years ago, and now Emily is becoming an equally significant professional in my life. I feel that I can be really open and honest with her about difficult emotions and thoughts which is the foundation for a successful therapist-client relationship.

I will admit that for the majority of my sessions with Emily, we discussed my inability to move past the end of my relationship; I felt very hurt and confused for a long time after and felt unable to get any closure. However, when I was contacted in April by my ex-partners current girlfriend, it completely switched things up for me. I can wholeheartedly say that Amy was the catalyst in me moving on and finally taking off the rose-tinted glasses and finding my self-respect again. I won’t go into the ins and outs as there are levels of disrespect he showed towards certain ex-partners that isn’t for the public domain. However, he essentially led a triple life and truly fooled everyone.

But the best part of the situation for me wasn’t just losing a lying a*sehole, although that was a fantastic element; it was gaining a friend in Amy out of the weirdest of circumstances that neither of us ever expected to be thrown into. There’s nothing quite like being betrayed by the same man to bring women closer and there really isn’t anyone else – aside from Kirsty (the wife, who wasn’t as estranged as we thought) – who would truly understand how I’ve felt. It is the most liberating thing to go from thinking you’ll never find anyone like them again to realising with true clarity that you really never, ever want to.

So, I will conclude my first blog post of the year by saying that I am excited for the rest of 2023 with a lot less bullsh*t in my life and a lot more love from all angles. And I am also very much looking forward to putting the worlds to rights at the weekend; toasting merrily to a much brighter future.