Word Vomit

There are many ways in which Ben interferes in my life; sometimes he can appear for months at a time, others hes here fleetingly before giving me some relief. Since having the Unconscious Mind Therapy I have felt significantly calmer: I think noticing that it had had a positive impact on my phobia eased some…

My Experience Of U.M.T

February 11th; the big day. When I woke up at 4am I felt surprisingly calm, and even for the first 2.5/3 hours of the journey I wasn’t panicking. But when we were around 35 minutes away Ben went into overdrive. I felt shaky, incredibly nauseous and my heart was racing. I’d told myself I wasn’t…

Will It Work?

Tomorrow is the big day. And Ben is very much behind the scenes creating niggles of anxiety. I’m trying really hard to be positive and optimistic, but at the same time, if this doesn’t bring me some relief or some guidance in regards to how to manage my emetophobia and Ben; I will be back…

What Ben Has Taught Me

After a difficult few weeks, I have done a lot of reflecting. Often, I am so aware of all the things that Ben negatively brings to my life that I forget the lessons I have learnt. There are parts of my personality; the way I react to things and my viewpoint on subjects that have…

Drowning

There comes a point with any illness, whether that be physical or mental, where you have just had enough. You are simply exhausted. The seemingly never-ending torture that gets put on your body and mind can push anyone to breaking point. I have had enough. I am struggling and although it hurts me to admit…