To The Person Reading This…

This must feel like the scariest time of your life right now. And trust me, I’ve been there. You feel like no one else understands. No one else feels this way. No one else has been through this. But I can assure you, they do and they have. And they have made it through the other side. Just like you will.

Everyday feels like a struggle right now, you feel like there’s no future without constant anxiety, your life will always remain in this state. And those thoughts are so hard to ignore. They shout the loudest. But listen to me: You are going to wake up one day and feel calm. You are going to wake up one day and feel safe. You are going to wake up one day and feel happy.

I’m not promising this will be an instant thing – if only it were that simple. But it is achievable and that is something you have to remember. Make it your focus.

When I was at my lowest I made the decision to go back onto medication and start seeing my counsellor again. This was the best choice for me.

My counsellor is second to none. She is intuitive, thoughtful and compassionate. I feel extremely lucky to have been directed to her and recognise how much help and support she gave me. There are people you will meet in your life, on a professional or personal basis, who will go above and beyond. Julie-Ellen is one of those people.

This time a year ago I felt like my life would always be clouded by Ben. He would always dictate my experiences and endeavour to control me for the foreseeable future. Fast forward three hundred and sixty-five days: I feel more in control. I have made progress that has benefited me in every aspect of my life. I haven’t experienced a full-blown panic attack for nearly four months. I take my medication on an emergency basis, not as a way to get through each day.

This doesn’t mean Ben is totally absent from my life, but his control is slipping. And I will continue to do everything I can to keep him at bay in whatever way works best for me.

So today must feel like the scariest day of your life right now. No one else understands, no one else feels this way and no one else has been through it. But I do, I have. And I am in your corner. I believe in you and you will get through this. So in three hundred and sixty-five days I want you to look back to this day. And remember how far you’ve come.

Link to Julie-Ellen’s website:

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